jesus. husband. babies

jesus. husband. babies

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Blue Letters

The day has begun. My sweet baby boy Tennyson woke up with a raspy voice and an attitude to match.
He is such a sweet sweet boy. He is his father.
Over the years I have listened to my mother in law tell stories of my husband and how he has always been an "old man". At a young age (3) he would disappear in the evening and when should would go to look for him she would find him sound asleep in bed. At a young age she would have to bribe him to just smile to people in the store.
Everyday I see more and more of Daniel (my husband) in our sweet boy (which I think is totally endearing).
As I sit typing I am listening to Tenn cough in his sleep and my heart aches every time he coughs. If I could wrap my arms around him and take any sickness he has from him I would. In a heartbeat.
My sweet boy just turned 10 months old. He is my first and he has my heart. I am not sure what I was expecting when I got pregnant. I know my husband and I desperately wanted a boy (we will get into the reasons later on) but I was not at all prepared for the reality of being a mama to a little boy. From the moment he was handed to me he had my heart. I think back on that moment with such joy and peace. My mom (who was my midwife and delivered him) handed to me right when he came out and he was perfect. After an hour and a half of pushing he was vacuumed out. When they put him on my I was initially worried. I saw his sweet gray eyes glazed and searching my face for some point of contact. He never cried. Not once. He just looked around and around. And as he was taken by nurses, cleaned and weighed he never made a noise. As he was handed to my inlaws and my sisters he was still silent. Just looking. Searching. Even at hours old-he was his father. An old peaceful man stuck in a babies body.
The last 10 months have been filled with hugs, kisses, falls, crawling, doctor visits, breakdowns, baby food, juice and the words "I love you" being said 100 times a day. I am pretty sure that will be his first sentence. Somedays I think "Life was so much easier before baby Tenn" and I quickly remind myself that the easiest things in life are never the things you go to bed thinking about. You drift off to sleep thinking about the challenges of the day and thats where I want my "bed time thoughts" to be....on my sweet baby boy. My sweet old man. My perfect and forever loved Tennyson.

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