jesus. husband. babies

jesus. husband. babies

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Time flies

And there he is. It seems like Daniel and I were just discussing me getting off birth control so we could start to try and have a baby. I can remember like it was yesterday having Daniel lay his hands on my tummy and pray for our sweet baby that was growing inside of me. It seems like it was just yesterday that Daniel and I decided we (secretly) wanted a boy and we bought our baby a pair of blue shoes (wishing that in the coming days we would find out what sex our baby was going to be). I remember the anxiety of waiting in the waiting room for Daniel to meet me so we could find out the sex of our baby. It seems like I was just kissing him for the first time and crying as his slippery body was placed in my arms. I can still remember the feeling I had when we were about to check out of the hospital and I could not wait to get home and start our real life as our family of 3.
After such a short amount of time I look at this picture and I realize- He isn't a baby anymore. Yes me is still my baby but now he can walk and officially a toddler. He has been weaned for some time now and I am realizing that this is the begining of his adventure of a life. He can walk and boy does he have a will of his own!
Part of me misses the time in his life when he needed me, I mean really really needed  me. When he was dependant on my for everything. Even though I know (as his mama) he will always love and want me I am already starting to realize he is starting to be his own person. He now will shake his finger at me and say "na na" when I try and smooch him too much (he is mimicking me when I shake my finger and say "no no" to things he isn't supposed to be doing).
Tenn with Papa

If I am to be totally honest, part of me greives that my baby is gone but a much bigger part of me thinks "this is where the fun begins!". I am over the moon to see what kind of man he grows into and even though I know his manhod is far away I am decided to make these days count because they will be gine before I know it and someday I will sit back in a childless home and yearn for the mess that my house used to be, the toys everywhere and the cherrios that pop up in the most random places. I will look back on these years with my sweet boy with such fondness. So today I decide to love it, love every second. I will love the afternoons when he would rather scream then go down for a nap. I will love the days that he shakes his finger and says "na na" to me. I will love the times I just want to go to the bathroom in peace but can't seem to shake my shadow of a son. I will choose to love every moment of our days together, the hard and the easy. The beautiful and the days that I wish he would just sleep a couple more hours.
This adventure of life that I have been blessed with will not be wasted with regrets but I embrace my opportunity to pour love into this little baby so that every cell in his body will be able to recall the grace and love he has been washed with.

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